This is why we can’t have nice things!

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Hey Space Cadets, I saw this video and HAD to share it with you!  And to my fellow veterans, do you wanna know why we can’t have nice things?  This is why we can’t have nice things!!

 

 

Until next time, stay frosty and don’t forget to keep your powder dry! 

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JR

 –> As usual, all images came from the Google’s “labeled for reuse” section or are videos used by JR Handley for use under the Fair Use Doctrine.

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WRITERS ARE CRAZY PEOPLE

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Hello Space Cadets, today is another throwback post.  I think this story was posted way back when, before anyone had found this post so I decided it needed an edit because it’s too funny to go unloved.  This happened when I was writing book one, The Legion Awakes, in the local Starbucks.  The very one whose store number became Lance Scipio’s beloved 6907th TAC Regiment.  I was spread out over the long corner table organizing the story, so I could fix issues Tim C. Taylor had with the combat scene.  The scene in question was part of what became the novella The Demons of Kor-Lir which is still available to those who sign up for my mailing list.

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Like I said, I had to share what happened.  I had just finished a very early draft and sent it to my editor, Tim C. Taylor.  This was before Corey Truax came into the picture.  Anyway, as I poured over his critiques, I noticed that he suggested I bone up on my science and medical knowledge, since my death scenes didn’t read true.  Hey, I was a grunt… we haven’t trained to kill people with swords in a few years!  And swords in space?  Blimey, what sort of Army do you think I served in?  For some reason I’m envisioning Stripes meets The Jetsons but I digress.  I read Tim’s comments, until I had a flash of insight!  I realized my aunt was an ER nurse, so I decided to call her up to go over some things. 

 

While still sitting at the previously mentioned Starbucks I called my aunt – we talked about decapitations, death grips, arterial spray and how long it takes someone to bleed out.  Upon finishing my phone call I noticed that the Starbucks had gotten unusually quiet, the long table I was sitting at was suddenly empty and people were reacting as if they’d suddenly smelled something foul.  I swear, I almost sniffed my armpits to make sure we were good!  Then one of Virginia’s Finest, Officer Friendly, and yes names have been changed to protect the innocent, walked over and sat in the chair opposite mine.  When he had my attention, he got chatty.  “Everything alright here?  Anything you need to confess?  Do you need a lawyer?” 

 

Rarely one to be at a loss for words, I quipped a reply chalk full of my usual shenanigans.  “Nothing to see here officer, move along,” before laughing nervously.  Officer Friendly wasn’t smiling.  Sighing, knowing I needed to figure out what was really going on, I asked and waited for the big reveal. 

 

Officer Friendly was right there to clear it up, “So, murder plans this weekend,” he asked.  Was it ironically?  Meh, I don’t know but I was instantly relieved that there wasn’t something more serious.  Did I just type that?  Nothing serious about murder?  Man, the Army seriously warped my mind! 

 

Smiling, I simply informed him that I was working on my novel and consulting my experts to improve the text.  “I’m not a serial killer Officer, I’m just a writer.”  Luck was on my side, he chose NOT to check my browser history and all the murderous research I’d been doing.  The best part about all of this, it was the first time I called myself a writer out loud and around strangers.  Hopefully the times that follow won’t require armed law enforcement and a concerned public!  Well, unless the officers are protecting me from adoring crowds as I outsell the great JK Rowling!!

 

Until next time, stay frosty and don’t forget to keep your powder dry!

brown_bess JR

 

 –> As usual, all images came from the Google’s “labeled for reuse” section or are owned by JR Handley.

Writing Tag

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Howdy my fellow Space Cadets!

As we speak, my first novel is about to go into its final round of beta reading. Hopefully it will be published very soon. A prequel novel will go into beta reading as soon as the first one is done and will be used as an incentive for those of you who join the Sleeping Legion’s mailing list. I just finished the first draft of my second novel, though I know it will need significant revisions. I am really excited that it has gone to the editor – though I am sure there is still work to do on it. Hopefully the edits will be finished soon and it too will be ready for the beta phase. I have my outline ready for novel three in my series – and it’s great, if I do say so myself!

While I await the red ink of my editors I’ve been updating my world building notes my post-Sleeping Legion Series. This has been a sad time, since I lost so many loved characters to the war, well they say if you love something then you should let it go. Something about it returning, true love, blah blah blah. Anyone else ready for the space marines gore fest too? Ugh, these pesky emotions….

Anyway, I decided to let you guys get a sneak peak of my characters by doing this writing tag that I got from Jenna Moreci and Kim Chance.  Did they tag me? Nope, I’m not that cool….YET!!! Pfft. But, I took it and ran with it anyway!

 

1) A crazy hacker’s gone into your computer, and has deleted all of your music, except for one song off of your writing playlist. Which song is it?

Right now, it would probably be anything from the King Arthur sound track because I rock the classical instrumental vibe when I write – or I listen to coffee house chatter for background noise.

2) Your protagonist and antagonist have been paired up by friends to go out to lunch together. Where do they go?

            Hmm, well I have several protagonists and antagonists but to make it easier to answer I will stick with two humans! I know, I’m a bloody alienphobe!! So I believe Lance Scipio (protagonist) and Spartika (antagonist) would go to Chic-Fil-A for some good old fashioned Earth food. They’ve been on military rations for so long and even the devil deserves to try a waffle fry once in its life!! And that sweet tea? Ugh, we just might foster world peace….Nah, who am I kidding? They’d eat their meal and try slitting each others throats but at least it would be a yummy last meal!

3) You’re crossing a bridge when the troll living under it stops you. He demands to read a chapter from your novel, and won’t let you cross otherwise. Which chapter do you give him?

            I tend to write my chapters differently, where each is more of a scene than a chapter. Some follow on chapters then use another person’s perspective in the same space of time. I would love to read him the scene where Lance and his AI, Xena, figure out how to find the cloaked wee beastie from the prequel novella. It was the beginning of something special between those two!  What can I say, I love that pesky AI!

4) Your friends have invited you out to a party. Surprise! All of your characters are there. Who do you choose to hang out with?

            Lance, he was a lady’s man who might have some sweet tips! Further, I love the company of other veterans, even fictional ones. I would also love to chat with Xena, who is likely the universes first lesbian AI! She is witty, funny and no nonsense. Oh, and I would also love to meet Hayley Mason. She has a crush on Lance Scipio – it would be fun to tease her about her school girl-esq crush. Well, maybe not…she IS a Space Marine and might break my face off. Oh heck, I’d hang out with all of my Human Legion folks….just keep me away from those Hardits.

5) Crap. You left your car keys in your house, and you’ve (somehow) locked yourself out. Which of your characters picks the lock for you?

            Marine Charlotte “Wires” Rochambeau, she is wonderfully sneaky!! Hey, if she can hack the White Knight Master Code AND keep those bunch of misfits from 1st Squad, Whiskey Company, 6907th TAC Regiment alive by fudging their grades….well, she could handle some archaic Earther key lock!

6) The zombie apocalypse is happening right now. (It sucks.) Everyone is fleeing the planet, and moving to Mars. ONE of your characters can go with you. Who do you choose?

            First, I was going to say Lance Scipio because he is a bad ass…but if it is Post-Apocolyptia then I want a lady to go with me so I choose Marine Sashala Kraevoi! She is fun, smart and totally capable of taking care of herself. Did I mention her knives? Oh, and the fact that she isn’t hard on the peepers doesn’t hurt either!!!

7) You’ve been given the opportunity to travel to one place (town, building, landmark, country) in your book. Where do you go?

            I would go to Beta City; it is where all the cool kids live!! Beta City is on the island of Scofa, in the middle of Lake Sarpedona….so it will also have a view!! And hey, Tranquility-4 is a decent place, as far as alien planets go. Plus, from there I could play with all of their cool tech and space ships!! Hello, it is near the orbital elevator!!

8) You meet your main character and start a conversation with them. Problem is, you’ve only got six words or less to do so. What do you say?

            “You’re awesome, take me with you!” Okay, anyone who knows me in real life knows I’m a talker so I probably am physically incapable of limiting myself. I would keep talking, but that isn’t a bad starting point.

9) Crazy acid rain is falling from the sky. Which of your characters would you use as an umbrella?

            Spartika, because nobody likes a coward or a traitor. OR, maybe Zempi because she is a geonocidal Hardit bent on galactic conquest….

10) You’re out at a restaurant with your main character, and the time has come to order dessert. What do you order for them?

            Anything, they’ve existed on space rations for so long it would all be new!! Okay, I would order pecan pie, but only so I could steal their dessert too!! Wait, Space Marines…forks…on second thought, Lance can keep his own desert! Then, for post dessert fun I would take him to Starbucks for a latte!!!

 

 

 

Whelp, those are my answers!! If you found these questions fun…give me all the credit! If you hated it, blame Kim!!  Feel free to do the tag too!!!